Occupation: Ayahuasca retreat facilitator
Why did you decide to try psychedelics?
I was looking for some deeper meaning in my life. I was successful and had everything by society’s standards, but there was something missing. I found that “something” working with psychedelics.
I have been working in expanded states since 2016. Those who know me well today would be surprised to learn that I was a staunch “rational materialist” before starting along this path. In other words, I only believed things that had some scientific support. I believed anything that wasn’t already accepted by science, by definition was false, or at least, not very likely to be true. Well, was I wrong!
I have since learned what many people have known for millennia – that there is so much more to this lived existence than what I had been open to agreeing with. I recognized some areas of inquiry are currently outside the purview of science (maybe someday that will change). And in those areas, we are left with only our intuition and felt experience to guide us.
How did you learn about psychedelics?
I stumbled across Ayahuasca when looking for information on jungle trekking in the Amazon.
Which psychedelics did you use?
I have used Ayahuasca, ketamine, DMT, mescaline (peyote and San Pedro cacti), and MDMA.
Who guided you through your experience?
Originally I found a shaman through Google. Since then I’ve met many people who work in the space.
How did you source the drug?
From a guide.
How did you prepare for the experience?
I fasted (both media and food).
How would you describe your experience?
I’ve done about 50 journeys.
What did you do for integration afterward?
After each journey, I implement the learnings from the journey. Sometimes by changing life habits, but also art and music.
How long did the effects last after your session was over?
When I came back from my first retreat, the effects lasted indefinitely.
How is your life different after going through psychedelic therapy?
After my first spiritual journey to Peru in February 2017, I returned as a changed person. My heart cracked open, and I recognized that I had been living a life based on fear, shame, and lack. I had been living life with a shortage of gratitude and grace. I realized I held judgment towards myself and others. I was able to let that judgment wash away. I opened up and connected with my internal divinity.
Most importantly, I realized that everything is OK and there really is nothing to fear. I realized that life is not the complicated mess I had convinced myself it was. In fact, I realized that everything is perfect and as it is meant to be.
If you could go back, what would you have done differently? Or what will you do differently next time?
Nothing. I wish for nothing in my past to be different. I love who I am now, and I am a product of all my experiences, psychedelic and non-psychedelic.